I am writing this from a daughter’s perspective. I write it to you, who are already a father or will soon be one. Oh, and to you too... the man dreaming that someday you will hold a baby in your arms. It is hard to put into words how important it is for a father to be involved in his daughter’s life. From a simple gesture of admiration, to a piece of advice which could mark her entire approach to life - she needs everything!
We celebrate Mother’s Day, because yes... she plays an essential role in our lives, she is unique, we love her with all our being and she deserves an ocean of blessings for all the sacrifices she’s made for us. But today is about our fathers. About the ones called “the head of the family” – about the pillars, the ones who should resemble a wise master in their children’s lives. Indeed, there can be enormous pressure on fathers. This is probably why many of them run away when they acknowledge the importance of their presence for those delicate beings they helped bring to life.
Father, if you only knew how important you are for your daughter. If only you knew how she is counting on you, that you are her role model, the one she looks at every time she needs help. Do you know how much you mean to her? She needs you for the smallest things. No... it is not about financial support, or about the fact that you can repair the broken toy when everything seems to be in vain, or that you can help her carry her luggage when she comes back home, but about so much more. Your hug means everything to her, your warm look, your acceptance, your encouraging words, an honest impulse, is all she wants.
The wise Sigmund Freud said he couldn’t think of any other stronger need during childhood than the one for a father’s protection. Honestly, neither can I. And it is not only about childhood, but also about youth and until the end of life. A father’s protection is the biggest need and if it is not fulfilled, it can lead to profound sadness and wounds in a child’s soul. Studies show that girls who didn’t have their fathers close can later have issues in their romantic life, because they are looking in their partner for the support they never got in childhood from their father (compliments, praise, unconditional attention) and many times their partners can end up feeling overwhelmed. I don’t want to propose a radical idea, but I believe that a father can subconsciously influence his daughter’s romantic life. Father, why are you so important? Because you are the one who will prod your daughter into a direction in her life which no one else can.
Through the love and affection a father shows to his daughter, she can learn to trust herself. This will help her become a stronger woman in the future. Being feminine, the most important feature of a woman, can develop from the first years of life, if a father offers small compliments, simple words such as “you’re so beautiful, my princess!” Nothing compares to a sincere compliment from a loving father. You feel strong, invincible, special and unique when your father is on your side. Later, you will have the opportunity to feel all these emotions again when you find the man who will be, in his turn, the father of your children.
It is said that the first love of a girl is her father. Myth or reality? I don’t know about you, but I think that many girls and women would confirm this. It doesn’t matter whether you’re 15 or 30 years old, you will still run to your father with the same innocence in your eyes when something hurts you. You know he would protect you from anything. You find in him safety, strength and shelter. He has a role in your life that no one else could replace. He is unique and so important.
Father, don’t forget that you are the key to the future harmonious life of your daughter. Don’t forget that when you say an inadequate word, when you are cold, distant, unapproachable, absent, you are just hurting profoundly the person who puts you on a pedestal and who sees a hero in you, even if you didn’t do things worthy of heroes. Don’t forget that you have a responsibility in your hands greater than anyone else and don’t let this overwhelm you. It should be the greatest joy and satisfaction that you can influence someone so much, that you can change a life, that you can bring a smile. Don’t run away when you think you can’t deal with it! Be honest and show your love as you know and can. Although you are clumsy and unsure, your daughter will look at you with the same eyes. She’ll know that you’re doing your best, that you really try.
And now, you - daughter, after reading these lines, maybe there’s a question in your mind: “What do I do if my father is no longer in my life?” And by “no longer” I am not only referring to the physical absence, but to everything. He can be there, looking at you, but not transmitting anything. To be present does not necessarily mean involved. When you don’t have a committed father, the first step is communication. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. If he doesn’t listen, tell him once more... You did your job, now just wait. Most of the time, men say they can’t read our minds, so you need to tell them if there’s something missing or bothering you. Do it like that. If it is in vain, find the power to bring to the surface the beautiful things in the relationship you have and develop them! He is your father. Love him! Love him with his flaws and if he doesn’t come to you, go to him. Tell him today how much it matters to you for him to be a part of your life. Also, you can pray. Start on a daily basis - tell God your utmost hopes and needs. Remember that He is your creator and that He loves you: “I will listen to you” He promises! Our father in heaven is ready to comfort us, to heal our wounds and cheer up the sorrowful spirit: “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it!” (Mark 11:24).
Dad, you’re so important...